I’ve been told “get excited”. For my “new future, new chapter, new life, new start” or whatever positive little colloquialism they decide to use to describe my new beginnings after high school. Be excited the say, hmm… wrong phrase. For someone who KNOWS whats on the other-side ill prepare for rain before I prep to pick flowers . Some say that’s a negative mindset to have, well for someone who used to hears hoofs and think zebras and not horses I know what it is to be optimistic, optimism will only take you so far. Don’t be excited, be prepared.
“When I turned 12 or 13, I realized that being funny wasn’t about remembering jokes, it was about creating them.”– Paul Merton
At the young age of 12 or 13 Paul Merton grasped a vital concept a lot of people still haven’t quite caught onto. It took me 18 years. 18 years to realize life is continuous, continuously going to be hard, continuously giving us reasons to give up, continuously making that harden expression a frequent one on our face. Growing up I was taught most things that our continuous aren’t constant. We choose our dealings. We choose to except life sucks. Instead? Lets embrace it! We already know the hand being dealt, why keep making the same moves to loose? Instead of allowing the inconveniences of life constantly get you down, laugh in life’s face! We can’t afford to be black and white in this gruesome world, We have to laugh in despair, make jokes when no one wants to laugh, smile when it feels your face muscles don’t function that way. Life makes you feel like a joke… so why not laugh? Take life’s opposition of your external and internal happiness and give it no other option but to hop on board and accept nothing it throws at you will take away your urge to be funny, laugh, smile, or grit to be happy away.
“Being foward” can be taking either good or bad. When you hear that phrase you’re mind automatically thinks in the aspects of disrespect; when someone’s “being forward” they’re normally expressing how they feel through words or actions and through those same words they’re crossing a boundary line with whomever they’re expressing those feelings to. So no mostly you don’t want to be “to forward. My definition seems to differ somewhat of that though, although that describes the phrase pretty well it also has a few other meanings. At least to me. “Be forward” Don’t look back. Don’t sit and dwell on things that cannot be changed, altered, or “fixed”… be forward & look toward the things you that can. “Be forward” Speak up when you know you have the right answer, stop mumbling and letting the goof next to you take credit for your brilliancy! “Be FORWARD“ Stand up for your beliefs, non-beliefs, and everything in between; no one can tell a forward person how to think! “Be forward” When life knocks you to the bottom of the bottom and lowest of the lowest, when it all just seems too much “be forward” and crush those struggles! Yes you get knocked down but not being forward will leave you on the ground, get off the floor and “BE FORWARD“!
Life; in most peoples eyes is about beating everyone to the same finish lane. Succeeding. Where Losing is not an option. To lose is to fail and to fail requires you to take on the title of a ‘failure’. Although we are not all pegged to be ‘winners’, we’re all predestined to be special. Seeing it’s black history month, I’ll use the exceptional Mrs.Rosa Parks as an example. On an ordinary day, in a specially trying time period where the common was discrimination and it was very few notable people who risked their life to defend their way of living or even more unusual; the life of someone else. Then there was Mrs.Parks. An older woman who was simply tired from a specially trying day and just wanted to take a seat… We know how the rest of that story goes. I say that to say this, she could’ve gotten up as any other person would’ve; just to stay out of trouble, but Mrs.Parks? Was outstandingly fed up. Her refusing to give up her seat, assisted in the Civil Rights movement. Now-a-days, where everything is accepted from the wrong to the weird, it’s hard to stand out even if you are predestined to “be special”. So I say, stop racing to that forever moving finish life and enjoy the journey. Take the extra minute to smile that bright smile, and make someones day. Take a minute and hold that conversation a little bit longer. Take those extra steps that aren’t necessary. There is no one definition of “being special,” being special is not excepting being common. No one tells you you’re special. You just feel and own it! So embrace the feelings and BE SPECIAL!
At 6 am I wake up, maintaining a positive outlook on the world instead of lying in bed all day watching Netflix. Around 8, school begins; and although its so many places I could think of that I’d rather be, I ignore those thoughts & put on the façade that it’s the one place I can not live without & push through the day. Now this continues to about 4:05 in the evening. Yes. That means I’ve been up for 11 hrs. Although there’s still that n ice comfy bed and Netflix waiting on me at home, I push through to work. This is usually a set schedule from 5 to close. As tired as I am, I put on a smile and give my best service because no matter how exhausted I am I know I will get no where and accomplish nothing if I don’t push myself. That’s how I’m purposeful to myself everyday, even though I could give in to my lazy urges, I wont because I won’t accomplish any of my dreams and that, is nothing close to acceptable.
What scares most conscious people is the same fear I’m slowly overcoming. Failure. Putting everything into one thing and just hoping for the best scares the death out of me. I’m a person that likes to plan and predict every move down to the tea, as well as have a few back up plans in my back pocket just in case plan A goes horrifically wrong. I plan on making this an career opportunity, one of many of course. So when I think of not being able to succeed in this field, it sends shutters through my body because its not just like “oh well, on to the next thing” which is my philosophy for most things I fail at. But with this I can’t have the same approach, its not just time and energy wasted its my future at stake. I told myself with this program I’ll be able to take care of myself once I finish, go to college, and live comfortably and not struggle like every other young adult out here trying to do everything we can to let everyone around us think we got this. PSA: WE DONT GOT THIS. So my biggest fear has nothing to actually do with the program, but the thought of not completing or being successful in this program frightens me deeply. But I have faith based off my spiritual and religious beliefs as well as faith in myself. So I don’t scare away from things easily and this will be another thing I will overcome regardless the doubts I have DEEP down inside.
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